Back to December
by iSpankzz
Summary: Sitting on the couch of his moms home, he couldn't help but feel like he'd made the biggest mistake ever. He's afraid of Kendall rejecting him for what he did. Kames!


**A/N: New Kames. I think I done REALLY well on this. I love this pairing and I decided to start writing my own. And I hope you like it. I know I enjoyed writing it. Also I got this idea from Taylor Swifts song Back to December. I know James and Kendall weren't really dating and stuff. But it sort of got me onto the track of this. **_**The Savage Soul**_** got me to begin writing these. I read ALOT of their stories, and they are AMAZING! I love their writing. You should check 'em out sometime. (: Anyway read on! **

**Disclaimer: I don't an ALL GAY boy band. Please don't sue. :P**

**Back To December**

James sat on the couch of his mom's house, eyes red and watery. In his hand was a medium sized picture of his best friend, Kendall Knight, who he'd not seen or heard from since nearly half a year ago in December. When they moved to the Palm Woods everything was perfect. He'd had his best friends with him and was on his way to making it big time. Then he had to ruin it.

He picked up his phone off the coffee table and flipped through texts and calls.

Nothing.

He dialed the all too familiar number once again, then hearing the dial tone go straight to voicemail, _again. _He listened to the velvety voice, it bringing even more tears to his eyes.

James Diamond did _not _cry. At least thats what he would've said six months ago. Now he's not even sure if he is James Diamond anymore.

He put the phone down, pulling his knees up to his chest before burring his face in his knees. He just wished Kendall would pick up. He's tired of calling every day, and getting the same thing every time.

He heard the news reporter on the television finally stop blabbering about gas prices and the economy, but he finally looked up and his eyes were met with the most beautifully tragic sight. James wiped his eyes and watched.

Kendall, Logan and Carlos were apparently at some kind of conference. Everyone of the boys looked like a disaster. Hair everywhere, clothes wrinkled, bags under their eyes. But Kendall looked the worse, with his bloodshot eyes that told the world he'd been crying.

"Tonight in Hollywood Big Time Rush discusses their next move." The news reporter annoying voice tuned in.

Kendall's voice was the next thing he heard. "Big Time Rush has decided to call it quits. With the loss of our fellow band member, James Diamond, we couldn't find the will to keep on trying."

James felt like he was on the brink of tears. It was all his fault. He caused this. He couldn't take this away from them. Even though it was his dream to begin with, they all loved it.

Flashback:

It was Christmas Eve and all of the boys were in the living room of 2j stuffing their faces full of Mrs. Knight's well prepared meal so they'd be able to fall right asleep so they could wake up early for present time.

James was to busy indulging in the food that he didn't even notice how one boy in particular didn't eat. Mrs. Knight sure did make good food. Especially when she went all out on it like that specific night.

"This is delicious Mrs. K.!" Carlos said, his mouth full of food. James and Logan laughed at the boy.

"Manners Carlos!" Mrs. Knight snapped, but smiled, "But thank you anyway."

All of the boys grinned, except for Kendall who sat at the end of the kitchen table just staring at his food and pushing it around with his fork.

Right after dinner they all headed their separate ways. Kendal and James to their room and Carlos and Logan to their's.

"Hey can I talk to you James?" Kendall asked from his bed as James came from the bathroom.

"Sure what is it Kendall?" James asked, pulling on a shirt, and sitting down across from .Kendall on his own bed.

"Jo and I broke up." Kendall stated, as if it was a big deal, but to him it was.

"Oh, I'm sorry man. There's plenty of-"

"No James, I broke up with her." Kendall said, running a hand through his hair hopping it would relieve some of the awkwardness he was about to create.

"Why dude? I thought you liked her?" James said, genuinely shocked that Kendall would dump his long time girlfriend.

"I did like her James but I..." Kendall sighed. He didn't know how to say this, so instead of beating around the bush he came right out with it. "James I'm gay."

The brunette looked shocked. He didn't hate Kendall, but it was still weird finding out your best friend was gay. "I see then... Kendall, I don't care who you love, you'll still be my best friend."

Kendall lied back on his bed softly. "James I don't love just any boy... I love... I love you." Kendall closed his eyes, afraid James would throw something at him.

There was a very awkward silence then he heard shuffling and then the lights flicked off. Kendall turned over and faced away from James, and began crying himself to sleep. He'd probably just ruined his friendship with his best friend.

James waited until he was sure Kendall was asleep before silently packing a few things and leaving a note on the counter explaining where he'd gone. He left out the part about Kendall, if Kendall wanted them to know, he'd tell them himself. He had enough money to buy a plane ticket back to his mom in Minnesota, so he made off to the airport.

End Flashback

James stood up from his spot on the couch before marching upstairs and changing from pajamas into real clothes. This was his fault and he was going to fix it. He was going to grow up and be the 19 year old man he was.

He left a note on the counter and headed out. Hopping he'd make it in time.

Back in Hollywood

The family woke up early the day after the announcment, already packed and ready to leave. The were going back to Minnesota at the end of the day.

Kendall would try out for Hockey, and Logan would prsue his dream at being a doctor. Carlos, well no one knew for sure what he was going to be. Who knows if he himself even knew, really.

Kendall was just hoping to get there and ignore his James, any way possible in the small town they were from.

He loved James, wholeheartedly, and when he finally found the nerve to tell him, he left, without even giving him a real good bye or anything.

It was a hot summer day and Carlos and Logan had decided to tak one last swim in the Palm Woods pool. Kendall decided to go with them, because it was probably the last time they'd ever see a clean pool in the next few months.

Kendall pulled himself up out of bed and threw on a piar of swimming trunks with an emotionless expression.

"You ready Kendall?" The nerdy one of the four... three boys asked from the other side of the wooden door.

"Yeah! I'll be out in a moment!" Kendall called out, staring at his reflexion. He picked up his phone and looked it over.

No calls or texts from James,_ that's wired_, Kendall thought. James atleast calls twice before noon and it's already two in the afternoon.

He shook his head and shut his phone off, before leaving the apartment and looking it up.

"You ready to go back to Minnesota?" Carlos asked wrapping an arm around Logan as Logan done the same to Kendall. The other two bys sighed and shook their heads.

"No," Kendall said at the same time as Logan. The thing was no one knew the real reason he didn't want to go back. They didn't even know about that night. The only thing they knew was what

James put in the note.

The hooked arms with one another. For the past six months it was like this. The three remaining members of Big Time Rush would hook arms, it was their way of supporting the group with James gone.

James was the backbone of the group, he's what held them up. And without him it was getting harder and harder to keep standing.

Kendall forced himself to date Jo again, hopping it would lessen his feelings toward James, and more towards her. But the more he tried the more he loved James. it was inevitable. It was James he'd always loved, not Jo, James. He was his best friend. Always there for him.

"Hey Kendall!" Said the chipper voice of Jo Taylor as they reached the pool area.

"Hey Jo." Kendall said and let go of Carlos' arm, motioning for them to go on ahead to the pool. "We have to talk."

Jo's face fell at those words, everyone know's what the mean. "Not this again, Kenny." She said using the pet name James had given him when they were little. He liked when James said it. But when Jo did it kind of annoyed him a little.

"We've decided to move back to Minnesota." He stated, trying to keep the conversation simple and to the point.

"Oh... Okay. Why?" She asked him, the chipper voice completely gone. and he sighed.

"We've decided we can't do this no more without... him. So we're going to go pursue our other dreams." He explained simply.

"Well that's okay!" She said, the voice back once more, "I can still come visit every now and then." She said and reached to hold his hand and pull him closer, but he backed away.

"No... I think it'd be easier if we just... see other people." He said, and watched as her bottom lip quivered and her eyes got all watery.

"Oh... Okay..." With that she left quickly, trying to hide the fact she was crying.

He walked to a chair and dropped his stuff on the ground next to it before stripping off the shirt he'd wore downstairs and climbing into the pool with the other two.

Hours passed by before the three boys finally got out. After drying off and gathering their towels and such, the headed into the lobby and into an elevator. Logan hit the button and sighed as the doors closed and the felt the familure jerk taking that let them know it had started moving. The ride up the elevator was silent. Not awkwardly so, but comfortably silent.

When the elevator finally stopped they left the elevator rounding a corner to the apartment.

They didn't want to leave. Sure they missed Minnesota, but they grown to love Hollywood. And even though it was James dream at first, it somehow became a part of theirs, too.

The stopped at apartment 2j. But when Kendal went to reach for the keys Logan stopped him. Kendall looked up then they all notced how the door was slightly ajar.

"That's funny, I was sure I looked the door." Kendall said. Carlos reached forward and opened it, before they all three stepped inside, but not even half way in they all three stopped.

There on the orange couch, was the handsome brunette that deserted them all in December.

"James?" They all three asked, confused. The pretty boy turned towards them, but his eyes only saw Kendall's green ones. They all noticed he didn't look the same, his clothes were wrinkled, eyes watery and bloodshot and his usually styled hair didn't even looked brushed.

"Kendall..." James whispered, standing up, and walking slowly to Kendall. He stopped right in front of the blonde, so they were only mere inches apart.

They brought their hands up to each others faces. Then James ran his hand over Kendall's cheek as the blonde done the same to him.

Then suddenly, their lips were connected, in a sweet, passionate kiss that had them both gasping for breath. Their tounges roamed the others mouth sweetly and their now new tears mixing. Both of them were so caught up in the kiss they barely noticed the shocked faces of Logan and Carlos.

Their grips tightened on eachother, both afraid if they let go the'd lose the other. James pressed Kendall into the wall just as Mrs. Knight and Katie came in.

James and Kendall pulled away with a gasp, both boys flushed red, and now had a very noticable bulge in each boys jeans. "Mom!" Kendall flushed with embarassment at being caught making out with his best friend by his mom. Kendalls gasp went unnoticed as James was pulled into a tight hug by Mrs. Knight.

"James! We missed you so much!" The older woman sobbed, but the tears were tears of happiness, not saddness.

And then, all of a sudden. It was like those six months never even happened.

**A/N: Soooo? How'd you like it. I wwas going ot add a lemon into it, but I decided not to. I thought it was good like this, and it was already so long I didn't want to make it too much longer. This is my very first BTR fanfic so please be nice, and I'll upload more. (:**

_**~iSpankzz**_


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